Employment

I was laid off at the beginning of the summer. I've been working continuously since I was sixteen years old, and during one summer, I worked two jobs. I've always been a hard worker, and I'm one who takes pride in my work, whether it's vacuuming or compounding prescriptions.

When the layoff came, I had a very hard time. Not simply because I was without a job, but because I was so afraid that others would think it was a reflection on me and my quality of work. Ever since I had been with that company, I gave everything I had. In the beginning, there wasn't much work for me in my downtime, so I made up projects for myself so I wouldn't feel guilty for being paid to do nothing. These projects would be useful to me because they furthered my knowledge and skill within the company. By the time I left, I was concerned those attributes didn't matter. I saw it as a personal affront, rather than what it was, which was a financial decision.

Two an a half weeks ago, though, I started another job. A job at a fantastic company that will use several of my skill sets, and it's in a very positive environment. I came across it at just the right time in my life, and I think that's a great sign. I'm excited to work in an office environment as I previously telecommuted. That might sound silly to some, but I am new to the area, and this is a way for me to meet other people, where if I had continued to work from home, I wouldn't have had that opportunity. I know I'd not have gone out of my way to meet people for no reason.

Tomorrow marks the halfway point in my training. I'm really excited to start my real shift at the regular time I'm supposed to work so I can get into a routine.

I stole this from Fresh Princess.

And she'll not be happy with me ;)


1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30

2. Diamonds or pearls? Hemp

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Hangover

4. What is your favorite TV show? News Radio, but it's not current.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Granola with rice milk and a bit of yogurt.

6. What is your middle name? One that stays off teh internets.

7. What is your favorite food? Cheese.

8. What foods do you dislike? Anything from the ocean, sadly. I WANT to like seafood, but I don't.

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? I do not like chips very much.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I will pretend that says MP3. Song would have to be "21 Guns" by Green Day.

12. Favorite sandwich? One that does not involve bread. A hummus wrap, probably.

13. What characteristic do you despise? Assholery.

14. Favorite item of clothing? Comfy skirts.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Right now, a European cruise, starting in Ireland.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Most of my clothes are from boutiques, and Macy's comes in second.

17. Where would you retire to? California.

18. Favorite time of the day? Middle of the night when nobody can bother me.

19. What was your most memorable birthday? Probably my 25th birthday when my friends took me to a martini bar and I learned that it's a lot harder to bounce back from a hangover in your 20s than it is in your teens.

20. Where were you born? A city in New Hampshire.

21. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball, with hockey as a close second.

22. What fabric detergent do you use? Hippie detergent! Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day lavender detergent.

23. Coke or Pepsi? I generally drink water, but I prefer (diet) Pepsi to Coke.

24. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl.

25. What is your shoe size? Between six or seven, depending on the brand.

26. Do you have any pets? My dog has a human.

27. Any new and exciting news you want to share with family and friends? Exactly zero exciting things happened to me today.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? cashier. An astronaut until the Challenger disaster. Then a ballerina until third grade. Then, a marine biologist.

Sadface!

I miss my friend to the north. I guess she's to the south right now.

Wah wah wah

I started to write a post about how I don't want to go back home next month. Wah wah wah, cue the violins. This is a very depressing blog. I will list the positive things that I can do/experience back east...whether or not I'll have time is another story. Many of them involve food.

1. My brother's wedding, and the point of the trip
2. Tomato garlic nachos
3. Blueberry ale (!!)
4. Fenway Park
5. The ocean
6. Old friends (aaaand now I have Simon and Garfunkle stuck in my head)
7. Hike
8. Cheese fries in CollegeTown. Only if brother can go

Well, that ought to be okay. The ocean and Fenway alone are pretty good reasons to be in NE. I don't even care which seats I get anymore. I certainly don't care if I'm not in left field now!

So, I'm crazy

I know I'll get yelled at for saying this. But I feel crazy sometimes. I know I'm not actually crazy. I am neurotic. Oh, I have so many neuroses, but as far as I know, I'm not actually psychotic.

I don't know why I deal with things in such an inefficient way. I like to lock everything up inside of myself until I burst. I like to sit and think and reflect and I know that I can't do anything to change past events or anything like that, but a lot of my reflection is centered around what ifs and replaying things in my head. I suppose I shouldn't say that I "like" doing that, but that's how I'm used to doing it. I don't have a way that I prefer to deal, but it's not like I clear my schedule on a Friday night to do all of this.

I'm trying therapy again. I know therapy is good. At the very least, I can claim trendy. It rattles me, though. My therapist is able to accurately assess my motivations behind certain actions, and I hardly know him. I don't wish to be so transparent. I work to keep people out. I know, that's an issue, but I don't care! I like keeping control of who knows what. I like order and control. Honestly, there are worse ways to achieve this feeling. I eat normally, I don't exercise myself down to a certain weight...I think this is healthier.

I'm just cranky because change is hard and I'm stubborn.

Shit!

I have a reader! AND a request to blog more.

This is for you, Helmet Girl.

I'm from the Boston area. I am a die-hard sports fan, and this means I enjoy talking about sports all the time. Sadly, I no longer live with anyone who is from the same area. Therefore, few people I ramble on to regarding sports gives a shit about what I'm talking about!

Right now, Boston is doing well. Bruins swept the Canadiens and are waiting for the other teams to play to finish the quarterfinals. The Celtics...well, they lost today, and their series is tied at two. The Red Sox, on the other had, THEY just swept the Yankees at home. The first Sox/Yankee showdown, and we came out on top! The Sox were off to a rough start to the season, but now they've had a ten game winning streak. I've been IMing my friends all about baseball, and I'm sure I've been met by rolled eyes all around. I know that's what I get from Roommate! (She doesn't like baseball.) I've offered to sing my baseball songs from the musical I was in back in the fifth grade. So far, no takers.

I did talk to two of my friends from home and a cousin from Cambridge, today, though. That made me feel a lot better. Oh, they hate listening to Sox on Fox as well. Joe Buck? Shut up! Tim McCarver? For real! Stop talking! They are employed by Fox, not New York. ESPN was loads better today, but I am so jealous they still get the broadcasts on NESN. Remy and Orsillo are the best sportscasters ever. I love when they start laughing about something and have to shut off their mikes. The flying pizza incident? Priceless. Remy falling off the desk while playing air guitar? Awesome.

Once Helmet Girl saw one of the fights, she decided that maybe she'll start watching baseball. She's Canadian. She's used to hockey.

Nameless

Well, damn.

I apparently forgot that I have a blog. I've been at this almost a month, and just about a half month goes by without a post. I'm doing a stellar job!

Maybe it's because I went to the doctor. I had some medical stuff going on, and I'm not at a point where I'm comfortable enough to share medical issues much more serious than a cold with the internets yet. I'm fine, and then I did get a cold, and that kicked my ass hardcore, and now I'm back. Good news is that I have a hot doctor. And that so far I don't have cancer. (Non-cold share--we're making sure I don't have a brain tumor later this month.) I'm going to start seeing a shrink this week for the crazy, and I hope that works out okay. I didn't get to pick the shrink. I love insurance.

This is the Wednesday of my work week. I love that Thursdays start my weekends, because Thursdays are my favorite days of the week. I think Roommate and I are both off this Thursday. Maybe we should do something awesome. I think it's the first day we've both had off since I've been here!

CDO

It's like OCD, but in alphabetical order. The way it should be.

No, I didn't make it up, and I don't know who did, so I can't give credit. It's funny, though.

My roommate and I both have actual OCD. Not what people think of when they think of OCD. Neither of us obsessively wash our hands or flick light switches on and off seventeen times before leaving the house. We both have it, though. It manifests in different ways. Mine is, well, insane. I do crazy things, but most people who don't live with me can't tell I have it. Most people who don't live with her probably couldn't tell she has it, either.

I fixate on things. I get something in my head and fixate on it and think about it over and over until I can do something about it. Like in the middle of the night when I decided I needed to pierce my nose. That was me first thing in the morning at the tattoo shop getting my nose pierced. Along with my belly button. Or when I get fixated on the 2002 Winter Olympics and watch the opening ceremonies nonstop for days. I mean nonstop.

So now that I've moved, I feel like I have clutter from stuff that doesn't have a place. I'm fixating on things that have not yet found homes or been hung up. I spoke with my roomie about hanging some things in common areas. Next thing you know, I'm out in the hall with a hammer. This kicks her OCD into high gear, as she needs time to process the change. I didn't realize that until that moment. She's afraid of making the wrong decision. I can understand that, because I used to feel the same way.

We'll figure it out!

Wouldn't it be fun?

If there were people who read my blog?

My ego could inflate and I'd feel super important. I have dreams of becoming REALLY FUNNY and getting ad revenue and making a million dollars like Dooce. I heart Dooce. I used to have funny things happen to me, but then I had a year of shit, and I won't go into my country music sob story or anything, but I'm hoping to start feeling some funny now.

My friend who originally said that I was funny said to blog about my opinions. She's right. I'm very opinionated, but I'm not sure I want to narrow this blog down to that. I guess I could have a blog that is a mish-mash of things that include my strong opinions, but right now, I'm mellow.

I know that at one point, you will be treated to my weird health problems. I won't get into any of them until I'm seen by my new doctor on Wednesday. My doctor in the military hospital was a quack, so it will be pretty nice to see a private doctor and get tests done in a timely manner so they can figure out why I've been fainting since July. (Okay, so one weird health problem sneaked through. Apologies.) I don't want this to be a poor me blog, since I've had a poor me year.

I've moved, and already things ARE looking up for me. I think I thought that the very instant I got here, things would be magically better. Poof. And I think that I wasn't accounting for the fact that I'd still have some bad days like a normal person, and that is frustrating, but I will adjust to that. I left one lifestyle for a very different one, and an adjustment period is normal. Optimism isn't one of my strong points, but I am striving for it. But really, moving has made a difference in a very positive way. Once I am all the way settled, my stress level will decrease. Once I get referrals, it will decrease further. I have a good support system, and I now live with one of the most key players in that support system. As the Beatles say "It's getting better all the time."

As always, vote, vote, vote! htp://tinyurl.com/cfscm9

Dog days

I love my dog very much. I never thought I'd be one of "those crazy dog people," but I am. I never thought she'd sleep in my bed, but she does. I also never thought I could have such a strong connection with another being. I've been told that my mood is apparent by the way the dog acts before I even enter a room. I'm not just bragging, but she has an extensive vocabulary, and can pick out key words if I give a command that is in sentence form. She's a pointer, and very smart. Sometimes, very smart is bad. Like when she figured out how to open the refrigerator when she was still a naughty puppy.

My wonder dog goes anywhere I go. We drive cross country (which she loves; idiot dog), we hike, we go tide pooling in the coastal pools of New Hampshire, and at the end of the day, she's content to snuggle up against me.

Then, we moved here and she made a new best friend. Don't get me wrong. When she's not playing, she's still my shadow. But this friend of hers is a lab puppy who has at least 20 lbs on her and is still growing. They wear each other out wrestling and playing, and I'm perfectly happy that she's becoming socialized with dogs again.

However. They like to play tug of war with my roommate's socks (Not in front of us, or we'd be able to end it). This means they both get fibers stuck in their throat. Her dog did some gagging last night, but we figured out it was throat tickle from a piece of sock. What was the first thing my dog did this morning? Threw up on the carpet from gagging so much from the fibers. Second Saturday in a row! Cleaning vomit while half asleep is very awesome. But, I would obviously do anything for my little baby. She's my pal.

Don't forget to vote! http://tinyurl.com/cecjnz

Mornings

Anyone who knows me will know that I hate mornings. It's not just that I'm not a morning person. I hate mornings. I remember once over the summer in college, my father was taking me to the train station or airport or somewhere in Boston while he was on his way to work. My father left for work at around four am. I took it as a personal affront that there were people on the road.

"What are these people doing awake?" I grumbled with a lot of attitude. He laughed and reminded me that commuters in our area had to get up early to get to their jobs. I glared at the cars until I fell asleep.

I can stay up all night. This is no joke. Four am is not an issue for me if I'm still awake, and I'm well past the party days. I believe this is genetic. If my father doesn't have to get up so freaking early (ie weekends), he'll be up all night. When his family stays at my parents' house, his brother, sisters, nieces, and nephews will all stay up until at least two talking around the table. My mother tries to stay up to be a good hostess, but I know it wears her out. I don't call my house past eight pm for fear of waking her up.

When I lived in the middle of nowhere, NC, I was about two hours from my 80-ish year old aunt. I asked my cousin what would be the best time to call her mother. "Never before noon, but she'll be up until two," was her response. My aunt would never be a recipient of an early bird special.

What is the point of all of this? It's my day off, and I woke up at six am. SIX in the morning. Something is obviously miswired. I know I just moved and I want to get a few remaining things at Target to complete my organization, but I promise, I am not excited enough about Target to wake up at six am.

If I can't fall back asleep, I will be quite angry.

Oh, yes...and if you've not voted today, click this link and vote for us! http://tinyurl.com/cecjnz

Let's see how this works...

Well hello, internets.

There are a few things you should know about me. First of all, I'm not exciting. There are some who have argued this, but I promise you that I am not. I'm a twentysomething girl currently living in the midwest with my dog. I just moved in with my roommate and her two dogs. You'll probably see lots of pictures of dogs. I'm from the northeast, but have lived in coastal California, and shitsville, North Carolina. I've driven cross country a few times, so I have a long list of states that I hate.

Oh yes. I tend to be negative. I'm working on that, though! There are things I don't hate! Like...cheese.

I do hate unpacking, however. And that's what I should be doing. Which is why I started a blog. If I'm blogging, I'm not unpacking, right? Genius!

Okay, some real things about me. I am a nerd, and I say that with pride. I studied microbiology in college, but I now work in computers. Yes, a totally lateral move. I enjoy reading my nerd political books and watching MSNBC to the chagrin of my roommate. I never thought I'd live this far from the ocean, but where I currently live is very enjoyable. I love animals so much that I will take in strays and foster them to keep them out of animal control facilities. I am an activist for survivors of sexual violence. (If you ever need to reach out, please have a look here: http://www.pandys.org. NOBODY should have to go through that alone.) Boston is my favorite city, with San Francisco a close second. I love America's Next Top Model. It is trash, but it is FIERCE trash.

Well, enough about me, how about you?